I used to be a huge fan of cheap silicon bracelets. I was in college and didn’t really have anything going for me. I used those cheap silicon bracelets as a proxy for a personality; instead of actually being involved in school activities or actually supporting causes, I just bought wristbands that meant things to other people and co-opted the enthusiasm. I’m a pretty lazy guy. If I can cut corners supporting an issue, I will.

I got so addicted to wearing a different cheap silicon bracelets every day that I started buying them in bulk at the thrift shop. It got to the point that I didn’t even know what the colors represented or for what cause I was standing up. Just so long as I was standing up for something, I figured, people would give me the benefit of the doubt about being interesting. I remember having 20 cheap silicon bracelets on my desk one day and spending nearly an hour trying to decide which one I would wear. That day, I chose green.

I met a girl in class a few hours later who commented on my green wristband.

“You’re a vegetarian?,” she asked.
“What are you ta…yeah, I’m a vegetarian!” I realized that she was referring to my wristband mid-sentence.

We discussed our “mutual” interest for a while and she agreed to go out with me two nights later. I decided on red that night. Which was a mistake. The red wristband stood for the Butcher’s Union. We only had one date.